Wednesday, July 21, 2010

One Thing I Get...

He does not belong to me.

The hardest thing I hear is my kid is special. At the Expo I am told he is different and needs to that high the that place.. far from me.

I get that my son is special

I get that he signs with beautiful ASL

I get that he is different

but so I am I

Trust me with him

He is Deaf

I know he needs to move away fom us

Give us time


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. deleted the above due to typos - up too early due to our pup pouncing on the bed

    one correction

    your son DOES belong to u

    he is of u

    he also belongs to the Deaf Community as in Maslow's sense of belonging

    it need not be an either / or

    it is an and / also

    i do trust ya

    sorry u r getting those prodding and declarations of "should dos"

    i trust u will do the right thing for him and u all in ur family and our Community - which u & ur family are part

    i trust and get it that u ARE doing the right thing. often the most important person for us to truly listen to and hear in these cases - are the kid

    ya doing good mom!



  3. People mind your own business and let parents and their kids be. He is your son and he is his own person. It's between you and him, and no one else.

    Nevertheless, it sounds as if he is doing more than fine; so you must be doing something right. :)


  4. Hey thanks.

    I really get it when folks want us to go in a different direction. They mean no harm. I wish he had more Deaf people around him. At age twelve he is picking his course. We know he will move but when is still not decided. Right now he plans to finish the art school and go off to college.

    I remeber when I was freaked out about his education at age three and Larry Fliesher told me very calmy, "He will be fine, he is not one I am worried about"

  5. Mark Drolsbaugh (Drolz) was talking about this just today. Trust me, your kid will discover a whole new world the same way his son did, AND he will come back home, bringing his new friends, to share his wonderful world with you.

    That is possible only because you have already become acquainted with this world. You have learned the language and accumulated friends of your own within this community; they will still be your friends long after your kids have grown up and moved away. Through this community you will keep contact with them and their friends even as you do directly.

    I wish my parents had understood this when I was growing up. Trying to raise me orally and to forsake all contact with signing Deaf even though they let me attend a school for the deaf in my teens, they ultimately shut themselves out of my adult community. They left me a legacy of a family divided between deaf and hearing that is still difficult to overcome even today, long after they are gone.

    It's a more hopeful world now that more parents are enlightened and accepting of all forms of communication.

  6. aw - thanks for sharing the quote from Larry
    "He will be fine, he is not one I am worried about"

    i did mention at the Deaf Studies Today conference tribute to larry - ur blog entry about how he was there for u at the IEP meeting way back when and what a difference it made for u and ur family

    ya probably already but a New Era document has been released which "call upon all Nations to involve their Deaf citizens to assist parents of Deaf infants, children and youth in the appreciation of the Deaf culture and sign languages" so i thought about what u had shared re: Larry

    there is alot more good stuff in the document but ur family did come to my mind as often in Deaf education they work hard to route folks to the "specialists" instead of the folks who actually live Deaf lives and are bilingual-bicultural

    Looks like Larry didnt have much to worry about in u - u r a good egg but so was Larry and i would have loved him worrying about me a wee bit. We only worry about the folks that are worth it.

    re: ur threat of creating tee shirts for the anonymous - awesome. Ill buy one as i kinda have a hunch who is gonna pop up to haunt ya.



  7. 2nd paragraph should read: "ya probably already KNOW but..." the new era document is at:
    click statement of principle and accord for the future



  8. They mean well. They want the best for your son too even though you are his mother and you know him better than anyone.

  9. Hey Patti,
    Some day I wish to meet you. Dianrez too. We would have such a grteat time. I imagine a table, yummy tea and hours of conversation