Advice From A Bad Parent

Do you ever do stuff as a parent you regret? I do. Sometimes I use the battle cry of " pick your battles" as an excuse to give myself room to take a break.

Tip- Don't let your kids sign things in public that you wouldn't let them say with their voices.

We were on the train yesterday. I was tired and wanted to read my book. I was getting to the good part. I spent the weekend monitoring, directing, comforting and watching out for a seven year old sleep walker. I needed a break. In the background I was vaguely aware of the polite discourse that happens among strangers trapped in close quarters. The polite getting to know you type of stuff I didn't have energy for.

My kids sat across from me giggling and being for the most part manageable. We were a silent tribe of three. Folks wouldn't dare to inquire about our trip because our hands fly with no sound. Membership has it's privileges. I looked up and saw my kids were talking about farts. Nice. Normally I would tell them to stop. I would tell them that was bad manners. Not this time. I pretended I didn't see it.

I payed the price. Ten minutes later my hearing daughter proclaims," I just farted" with enough volume to alert the entire car. I noticed the dead silence that followed as rows 3, 4 and 5 turned to investigate the source. I couldn't see the others so who knows how many folks were startled.

Lesson learned. Only take breaks in the privacy of your own home. Teach your children well and never sign something in public you wouldn't say out loud.