Sunday, May 30, 2010

Hearing Deaf Son


I posted earlier about hiring a deaf teacher at my school. She was raised oral and began to learn ASL when she was nineteen. I have had so many interesting conversations with her. She struggles to find a place in the deaf world. She takes ASL classes and wants to meet more deaf people. Her ASL teacher is one of my son's acting teachers and a I have worked with him at theater camp. It strikes me that I am hearing yet have more connections to her culture.

One conversation we had when she first started comes to mind today. When she applied for the job she told us she was hard of hearing. She later tells me she is profoundly deaf and relies on speech reading to communicate. She can't hear our voices at all.

I don't know anyone who uses the term hard of hearing. In my world you are Deaf or hearing. When people ask me if I am deaf I reply, "hearing Deaf son". ASL is the way we communicate so it doesn't really matter how much someone can hear. I was surprised last year when the interpreter that show up for my sons mainstream intake meeting was a Deaf teacher from the state school! I had no idea he could hear. In my world deaf is just like hair color or gender.

So I was talking with the new teacher and I asked her if she preferred deaf or hard of hearing. She asked me what I thought. I told her I respect what she wants. I told her my friends are just deaf. Turns out she likes to be called Deaf. She was raised to hide this. She now wants to learn to embrace it. She tells me for the first time she has a job where she can be Deaf.

My boss loves our new teacher and asked me what I thought. I told her it is hard for hearing people to understand but I have a comfort, a relaxed feeling with her that I never had with the other teachers. We share a connection that allows for an easy working relationship. Outside of work I sign. Now I don't have to leave that at home. The kids are learning to face people when they talk and their signing skills have improved quickly. She also happens to be a really fantastic teacher.

11 comments:

  1. Mel, I love that you embrace people the way you do, inviting them in. Your new teacher is on a journey, it seems, and she couldn't have a better friend to help her find her way.

    You rock, girlfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's many more like your new teacher who have come to embrace the Deaf community. There is nothing like coming home, once one has made the transition.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would be considered 'hard of hearing', and there are many more out there like me. In my world, you are either hearing, deaf, hard of hearing, hearing-impaired, signing deaf, oral deaf, a deaf cuer, partly deaf, mild-moderately deaf, profoundly deaf, etc. You get the picture. :)

    I posted my audiogram if you are interested in learning more about how I hear and can't hear:

    http://www.ehwhathuh.com/2010/05/detailed-description-of-my-deafness.html

    I am so happy that things are working out well with your new teacher! I can't wait to hear more about her.

    (e

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am curious to see what my daughter will choose to call herself. She has been using ASL since she was a baby but now she her prefered mode of communication is clearly spoken language. She has wonderful friends who are oral deaf and some are ASL Deaf. She even has a close friend who cues! Right now I identify her as Deaf with a CI but eventually that will no longer be my choice!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I usually tell people my children are hard of hearing. I think I would totally confuse hearing people if I told them my children were Deaf. Though, I have asked my daughter what she prefers and she has said she would rather say she is Deaf. It makes me happy that she prefers to say she is Deaf because I know I'm doing the right thing by taking her to Deaf community events and teaching her to be proud of herself.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's worthwhile taking note of Miss Kat's progress. Although she started with ASL, as she grows she is taking on other communication modes and becoming fluent in oral methods. That shows that ASL does not harm speech development and that a flexible, comprehensive approach in the beginning is the safest way to go for all kids.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dianrez, the problem with your theory is that we had to pull her out of her bi-bi school to get the progress to the point it is now. It is not the signing, persay, that would slow spoken language development, but being in a voice-off enviroment all day, without access to fluent spoken language, would.

    ReplyDelete
  8. (e that is so interesting. It never accured to me before how much my family lives in the Deaf world and don't really have contact with the broad spectrum of deaf perspective. We know kids with CIs and who cue but they still call themselves deaf. We know people who are hard of hearing but with us they are Deaf. Thats why I think it is so cool people from all perspectives blog and teach each other about their experiences. Our new teacher is teaching me so much as is your blog.

    The interesting thing I have learned about language and children is they will learn what the are surrounded by. School aside they can naturally become fluent. My daughter is fluent in ASL, Spanish and English. She is seven. She doesn't pick which language she wants she just code switches depending who she is talking to. Even though she has no English at school she taught herself to read and write in English above grade level. The other parents have noticed the same thing. A rich language enviroment seems to be key.

    In my opinion all children would benifit from having ASL as a communication tool regardless of what they hear. I have seen so many ways it has enhanced the children I teach and my own children.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I could relate to this post because I went through my own journey to a Deaf identity. My world opened up as a result of learning ASL and meeting so many amazing folks out there.

    http://www.chicagomomsblog.com/2009/08/embracing-my-deaf-self-rtp.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Karen thank you so much for sharing that. I passed your post on to my new friend and teacher. She was thrilled.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi my name is Raquel I have a son that is deaf and I'm also looking for a teacher for him he is 14 years and has a cochlear implant we live in Sint Maarten a little island in the caribbean that does not have the facilities for my son we need to travel to Puerto Rico for his audiologist as there is none on this island i'm desperate as my son asks me everyday when could he go to schools the schools on island is not willing to accept him because he will be the only deaf student, please could someone please read and send me a email on Raquel.Martina@ge.com.

    ReplyDelete