What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas...NOT

So we just got back from DeafNation World Expo. Guess what.....it was AWESOME! If you can still jump on a plane and go, do it! I plan to share all that happened with us, nothing will stay in Vegas.

We landed in Los Vegas Saturday morning a day before the opening party. We checked in and planned to just play, waiting for things to gear up. Turns out we met deaf folks from all over who had the same idea. A lot of people came early. Some folks would just come up to us and start talking excited about what was to come. My son was over the moon seeing a city become deaf. He took over. Everywhere we went it was like a big family reunion. Hands were flying at every turn. Hearing people were caught off guard. We felt so at home. We felt so free.

I am off to download photos. I will post our visit as soon as I can get the photos organized.

See you in Vegas!

Saturday we fly out to Vegas. We will be staying until Tues. We are going to Deaf Nation Expo.

We are so excited!

My son has a hearing friend who learned to sign after working in a theater company with him. This kid is amazing. Somehow he just picked up the language and plans to enroll in ASL classes when he enters college in the Fall. Well it turns out he may be in Vegas at the same time we are.

He told my son he would be nervous to be around so many Deaf people with his limited. skills. My son is trying to convince him it will be fine. In fact this friend will have my son to interpret for him. My son tells him there will be all sorts of people with different language skills. It struck me that this really cool strong hearing person is scarred to go.

It reminded me of the first time we went.

http://theotherdeafstory.blogspot.com/2009/10/chaplin-at-expo.html

How to order at a restaurant

I was chatting with a deaf friend yesterday. She was raised oral and learned to sign when she was nineteen. She regrets her parents never used ASL and is impressed with how I raise my son. Somehow the conversation came to ordering from a fast food restaurant. I was laughing about how I some parents in the past had told me they wanted their children to be able to order from a fast food restaurant. This was always in reference to speech. My reply is I have never met a deaf person who can't order food but many who have trouble reading "War and Peace".

Then she tells me when she was young she would order a hamburger and end up with a chicken sandwich. Her speech skills were such that people couldn't understand her. I was startled. I told her how we have had Haddy order from restaurants from the age of three. She thought I should share this on my blog. So here it goes.

When we would go to a restaurant we would read the menu to him. When the waiter took out order he would point to what he wanted. At a fast food restaurant we would write a note for him and hand him the money. We taught him to look at the amount on the register. If we needed a to go box at a pizza place we sent him to get it. He would point to his ear and sign box. He never came back empty handed. This was how we did it until he could write then he was on his own. Often friends or relatives would want to jump in and help him. I stopped them and they were surprised at how well he did.

When we went grocery shopping we made a list for him with words and pictures. We gave him money and he paid himself. At the age of three the list maybe had five items. The hardest thing was explaining tax.

So there you go. He can order from a restaurant and read "War and Peace". He read it last year as a sixth grader. He tells me it was "OK".

Love Through a Window

Over the last few days I have had some things happen that shocked me. Things that were so surreal I would pinch myself wondering if the world was really a great place.

Tonight I celebrate they world we live in. Tonight I celebrate my family.

Off topic, I am taking care of my sick mom's dog. She is super cute and friendly but a huge diva. I was sitting outside my house with the sweet diva on a leash waiting for her to poop and I heard a soft tap...tap ....tap at the front window. I turn around and see

My son 's head popped up, " Mom OK you?"

Me "yea dog sick waiting poop"

Son, "Sorry mom"

I sit and watch the sun set so slowly

Tap

Daughter "You what doing? Come in eat now"

Me "dog she sick maybe wait for poop"

Daughter " Hamster new, so cute touch I can?"

Me "No hamster he environment new need time"

Daughter " Oh I see OK Love you"

Me " laugh love you"

I sit and feel the breeze, stuck taking care of this poor dog. It is a 100 degrees I am busy with other crap. I give up control and realize this dog needs me.

Tap

Son and daughter acting out a funny skit to make me laugh. Behind the glass they act out this silly joke.

They sign " Love you mom"

I dare you to edit my English

Finding Home

About 8 years ago.......

This post is part of a series explaining how we moved to improve my deaf son's services.

We bought a cute house and prepared to move. It was really hard to leave our friends and Deaf community in Los Angeles but this move would improve our quality of life and allow me to spend more time advocating for my son son who was four at the time.

They days leading up to the move were frantic. We had many friends to say farewell to and lots of stuff to purge for the move. We got the bright idea to adopt a large rescue dog on impulse. After all we were moving to a house with a fenced yard of course we needed a dog. We shoved him into the back seat of the car and just as we pulled out of the parking lot he showed his detest for travel by promptly puking all over my son. At home we discovered he would not poop if he was on a leash. We had nowhere for him to roam free and I found myself doing something out of character, begging a dog to poop.

One thing that was a priority was an iron clad IEP. We needed his services to be so specific the new school would have to honor them. I sat with his teachers and went though the pain staking task of wording direct instruction in ASL and ASL instruction. We wanted to be clear he needed English for reading and writing but spoken English was reserved for pull out speech. This document was the holy grail that would insure my son would get what he needs.

We were so nervous about the move but very excited. Since I was pregnant I flew up to Washington with my son and my husband and several friends drove up in a caravan with all of our worldly possessions. The IFSP flew up with me to insure it didn't get lost.

My in laws met me at the airport and we stayed in a hotel one night waiting for the everyone to arrive the next day. On schedule my son and I were dropped off at our new house the next day to wait for the moving caravan. Of course my husband would be delayed by one day because the dog didn't like to travel and he was expressing this at every mile post.

So my son and I discovered the frustrating solitude of being stuck in an empty house with nothing to do. My husband's brother brought us blankets and some food. I told my son we were camping and it was an adventure. He was excited. The excitement wore off as the hours ticked by. That night it was hard to get him to sleep. Unlike a hearing child I could not turn off the lights and sing to him or tell him a story that might make his eyes heavy. No, we were up most of the night but at least we had found home.

Variables and how we made a choice

About 8 years ago......

In my last two posts I began the story of how we chose to move for our son. Our goal was to downsize so we could spend more time together. I was also pregnant with my daughter and wanted to be a normal family that eats dinner together at home not on a television set working crazy hours.

In order to do this and live a comfortable life style we needed to move. The dream we had before my son was born was to move to a small coastal town in northern California. The problem with that is he is Deaf. He needs a good school, Deaf community and a pool of qualified interpreters. We needed a community that was very Deaf. A state school seemed ideal.

Of course we wanted to move to Freemont but realized our job skills were so specific work would be hard to come by and money would be an issue. We thought maybe we could move somewhere and learn new trades so we could move to Freemont later. Riverside was an option but not what we wanted. We visited a school in San Diego but again what would we do for money and this program was only through elementary. Another thought we had was we wanted to settle somewhere and grow roots.

We didn't want to get SSI for my son so we needed to have a viable income. We thought if we got SSI he would be taught the mind set of dependence. I knew people who didn't get married or look for better employment because they didn't want to loose SSI. I never want my son to think he needs to depend on the government to survive or improve his life. I wanted him to enter the world as an adult expecting and getting a full life. It also felt like SSI implied disability and my son was full of ability. I fully support people who need this service but didn't feel we should plan on it. So we needed to find new careers.

We have family in Portland and Seattle. If we moved to Salem or Vancouver we could see them often. My father in law offered my husband a job in Vancouver as a salesman in a brokerage. Bingo. Well maybe, my husband is not the salesman type but we decided to take the leap.

We were concerned about the state school but had hope we could influence Haddy's education. We committed to move.

We started flying up every weekend to look at houses. This was a big adventure for my son. He loved hotels and airplanes. It was March and we saw a freak snow storm. He got used to riding around looking at houses. He was four years old and the world was just a big party.

One day we were going to look at a house and we parked the car across the street from the house we were going to see. Usually we parked in front of the house. Sometimes he moves really fast with great confidence. Well that day he jumped out of the car before we could tell him which house and he dashed straight up to the door of the nearest house and......I leaped out of the car in hot pursuit.....he reached for the door...I screamed to my husband.....he turned the knob......I ran followed by my husband....he disappeared in the house which was not for sale!

A second later I was standing in a strangers living room. About four kids and two adults were all sitting watching TV with the most frightened looks on their faces staring at my little blond deaf cherub who had a confused look on his face. Slow motion...I looked around...my son looked at me....the strangers sat frozen .....Of course this scared all of us. I apologized and snatched Haddy. From then on he asked us which house we were going to view. We would make a list and show him pictures talking about the features of each house.

None of the houses we saw were right for us. We wanted a cute old house with wood floors. Wood floors are great for deaf kids. Wood allows vibration to travel clear. If you are deaf you get this. Music, amp, fun. Stomp, turn, conversation. One day we saw the perfect house. It was cute, great for a dog, and had wood floors under the carpet.

Today.....

So we are going to DeafNation in Las Vegas but can't book our trip because we don't know the schedule yet. Haddy is twelve does anyone know the best time for him to go? We keep waiting for the site to give a conference schedule.

So far we are thinking Sunday-Wednesday.

Gosh the schedule is so DST hee hee

Moving Forward

About 8 years ago......

So My husband and I decided we needed to quit the film business in order to have a more rich family life. The education options in Los Angeles were OK for the very early years but a state school seemed more appealing. If we quit our careers Los Angeles would no longer be affordable.

The school my son was attending was a bi/bi program in a not so safe part of town. The building was in need of repair and the play ground was a focus of my fund raising efforts. My son was the only white kid which never seemed to be an issue for us. We wanted our son to be around all kinds of people and welcomed cultural diversity. The families were awesome and most learned ASL. Every day a group of moms would take the school bus to school with their kids and go to sign class. After that they would wait in a small parents room for school to get out. That always impressed me.

So we decided to check out WSD in Vancouver. We flew up to visit and when we drove up to the campus my son got excited and pointed to a grass divider in front of the school, "Look at the playground!". His school in LA didn't have grass on the play ground so this huge campus with tons of grass looked like a dream to him. We took a tour and the thing that startled me most was the class he would be joining. There where only 6 kids! His class in LA had 18 with 3 lead teachers. The funny thing we noticed was all the kids were white. So we would be giving up diversity and peers. Another thing that startled me was everyone was so amazed at my son's signing. So this would mean the other children were not as fluent? For some reason I had imagined all the kids at a state school would be native signers but this was not the case. I had always had this image in my mind that a state school would be some sort of Deaf nirvana for my son.

The other problem was the school had no language policy but the teacher was deaf so that was a plus. Everyone used sign in the classroom but there was no ASL curriculum for the children which seemed really stupid to me. Kids get English instruction why wouldn't deaf kids get instruction in their native language. We used ASL to teach my son English and he was far ahead of other kids his age. The curriculum was not bi/bi but I am a strong advocate so I felt pretty confident I could guide his education in the right direction.

So we left the school a little disappointed but hopeful. We flew back home to think and look at other options.