Huh

So my son tells me the ASL students at school have started telling him he is making mistakes with his signing. They are learning some different signs then he uses. Now what is interesting to me is when I was first learning I was told that you go with what the deaf person uses. I am also often told by Deaf people his signing is beautiful. They are often shocked by his fluency. Granted he wants to take ASL at the college level to polish his native language but it seems odd beginning students would feel the need to "correct" him.

I have a feeling the hearing ASL teacher is either using a different dialect than my son's or dated text book signs. I am also curious if the text book they use was published on the West coast.

Mty son is a native signer. He has a blended southern California/ Northwest dialect. For example the slang he uses is from years at the state deaf school and the deaf school in Los Angeles. Often the older kids come up with the slang so it can be regional. They ASL students are not taught slang.

My son also will sign some things the way he learned from the deaf community in LA because he likes it better. Signs like strawberry and cheat. This doesn't mean he is wrong.

This is not a big deal but I am just curious how much deaf culture the students are learning along with the language.

Imagine- rated R for language

Imagine you get pregnant and plan for months to welcome your new baby. Imagine all of the gifts you receive at a baby shower. Imagine how you decorate the perfect nursery. Imagine how you read all of the books and do all of the research to be the perfect parent.  Imagine how the world seems collectively shout with joy when your precious bundle of joy is born.

Now imagine you go to the hospital, fed up because the doctor won't tell you why your baby won't turn to your voice. Imagine now how at 10 months old the doctor tells you your child can't hear. Imagine how you feel when they tell you he will never read or speak.

Now imagine yourself sitting there........ and you say.......

Fuck You

Last night I was at a committee meeting for a dinner show at my son's school. He is a deaf kid mainstreamed after years at a state school. He is cast often in shows but this show will only be high school kids so my 7th grader will not be involved.

During the meeting the chair person asked me, " Mel when should we have the interpreted shows?"

After 13 years I am not having to defend for a brief moment. The people sitting at the table have no idea what it means to be deaf but they want the deaf community to come to the show and enjoy it. My son has become a matter of fact. My son who reads way above grade level and has a "voice".

Breath......... a shout to the past..... FUCK YOU

Read my face

When we were at Deaf Expo we really didn't have a list of must dos. We just went with the flow. There were two things though we wanted to do. The first was to have my son get the chance to meet Bernard Bragg.

On the first day we didn't see him. We had to fly out the second day so this was a disappointment. A friend texted me that night and wanted to know if we had met. She had told him we would be looking for him and was confused about why I didn't text her to help find him. Then it hit me. We had to at least try. The story of how we met him will follow. Right now I am thinking of something else.

I have been watching Bernard's DVD "Bragg on Bragg". Of course I ordered it as soon as we got home.

He talks about how some folks don't feel comfortable signing. How it takes a long time to learn. I agree and remember how we struggled at first. Then I discovered the gift of my face. He talks about this in his DVD. I would hope every hearing parent would buy it. I will respect him by not saying to much (BUY the DVD). I was so startled to see him talking about how just the facial expression can encourage a child. I hit pause and looked for my family.

I walked out to my family. I watched my son and husband. They took turns "talking". My husband would sign. My son was nodding and smiling. My son would sign, husband was making facial gestures, nodding, smiling. Bernard makes such an important point. My son's face is always moving. So is every member of my family's.

I remember how much we would make our language physical because we didn't know if our ASL was OK. Looking back I am so happy we were nervous. Now we can be comfortable with our facial grammar.

He talks about how we all sign different. We all learn based on how we are raised. He also sends the message that we are all "right".

So read my face,

I want to talk to you.

Excuse Me! Can I have your attention please?

The Sales Pitch

FADE IN:

INT. EXHIBIT HALL- DAY

Mother of Deaf child enters large auditorium and pull out a dusty, rusty, battered soap box. She steps on top and the spotlight comes on. Electronic ad music is blasted over the sound system.

A small audience is scattered throughout the hall.

MOTHER

Excuse me please! Can I have your attention. I am here today to show you the latest advance in raising a deaf child. Can I direct your attention to the thing that will change your families lives. Ladies and gentlemen,

Mother makes a sweeping gesture towards a rotating platform.

MOTHER (cont'd)

Natural Communication!

A shiny drape is lifted from a revolving disc to reveal ASL. The music gets louder and lights are flashing

CROWD

Ahh!!

MOTHER

Yes my friends Natural Communication is the tool of the future. No

more confusion or frustration. This little dandy is CI and hearing aide compatible. Imagine the look on your child's face when you can communicate naturally. Watch as tantrums are reduced and you begin to have easy in depth conversation. Use ASL to support speech and it even reduces stress in public when you need to discipline. ASL is a lovely compliment for your CI or other listening devices.

Try it for free for one month and if you decide this is the answer for you we will ship fluency for free. Yes folks at no extra charge! Natural Communication comes with a life time guarantee.

A hand raises from the small audience

PARENT OF ANOTHER DEAF CHILD

But my family is hearing. My child needs to know how to live in a hearing world

MOTHER

ASL is hearing family compatible plus it increases unity.

Another question

PARENT #2

But I want my daughter to be able to order from a restaurant.

MOTHER

Studies show that deaf people can order from restaurant whether they own ASL or not.

PARENT #3

I don't have time to learn another language

MOTHER

Unlike other products with ASL you learn it and that is it! All you need to do to keep it charged is use it!

PARENT #4

But I have other kids.

MOTHER

ASL is shown to benefit all children hearing or deaf.

So step right up to get your risk free trial of Natural Communication!

People get up and start to leave. The crowd is grumbling.

MOTHER

Folks come try this! I have proof it works!

Mother of Deaf child gathers up her soap box and walks off

NOT THE END

To my son,

I ventured out over the couple of days to see what sort of blogging is going on by hearing parents of deaf children. I realized there was nothing in the first few pages of my search that had much to do with your story. We don't plan our days around your deafness, we don't need to change you or make appointments. You are above grade level, you have no other delays , socially a rock star and emotionally sound. I got to thinking that if you were to do a search wouldn't you want to see a family like yours? So here we are. This is in no way an attempt to get on my soapbox. I am not worried for your future so I don't have to preach.

I don't think our way is the only way. I don't wish to fight or strut our success. We did a lot of work in the first 3 years. It was our work not yours. We always made sure your school was giving you what you needed. We advocated for other children not only because we knew you needed peers but because it was the right thing to do.

We decided not to focus on your achievements but take a look at what typical kids your age would be doing and set the bar there. We raised you with deaf adult role models and searched out the best advocates. Ask me later how I contacted Harlan Lane for an IEP referral.

So mom is gonna sit down often and tell you your story. I promise to skip the emotional music and insert a laugh track.

Love,

Mom