Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Job Interview

So I got a bunch of emails about a new job.....of course I ignored them... I love my job.

Then I got a bunch of emails from folks I know wanting me to open this email and look......I don't open every email because I get so many. I pick and chose.
I opened the email......

I applied for this job on impulse after I opened the email, it is for a parent guide for new parents. I am not sure if this is a match but I want to check it out.

One thing from this interview stays with me. Some things repeat a theme until we catch it and speak.

It started with the idea that parents are grieving.

Yes, your sweet baby is deaf and not the person you thought you knew. I remember how much I cried for three days. Holding him. I remember being terrified and I remember meeting my new son.

So after the interview I had a thought.

My third child died.

I grieved.

It was the most intense thing I have ever felt.

I was a mess. I needed to make decisions. I needed to make them fast. My husband and I were soup sandwiches, herding cats.

How do we bury her? (Money is involved and cultural choices)
Who can give advice? ( This is a business by the way)

I was not able to make the choices I wanted but it was OK.

It would not impact the future. My choices were just to comfort my transition.

The choices a parent of a deaf child makes do matter in the future. I realize the choices do make a difference to the whole family. I realize the family is in the grief process.

I realize I can maybe help.


  1. No one should have to go through burying a child. It is a far worse situation than dealing with a deaf child. Is grieving the same? I don't know if it differs in intensity or differs in character.

    Just a thought that might add to the resources you have in counseling parents: the difference between hearing parents and Deaf parents in their process of adapting to deaf babies. Even when parents are deaf themselves, no two react the same.

    For example, there were mixed feelings with us. When we discovered that our second child is deaf, there was relief that it would be simpler to raise him being of our culture, but also OMG, what education will he have in today's imperfect systems? And OMG, what will our hearing families say?

    These questions take time to resolve, bit by bit, and hardest to accept was that the answers are not immediately forthcoming.

  2. WOW, yes, do it, PLEASE. You've already been somewhat doing it with your blog. :-)

  3. Thanks for the thoughts.

    Dianrez oddly enough the process was pretty much the same. Of course bruying a child is far more intense and horrific. It may seem strange to compare the two. What we learned though is grief is grief. You go through the same stages. It gets easier with time or in the case of death more managable. I have somehow come to a place of akward peace with death and clear peace with deafness. I would do anything to get my daughter back but would not change a thing about my son. It changed me in both cases. You become a different person and in odd ways you grow.

    Thank you for the insight into a deaf parents mind.

    Katie, aw shucks! Thank you for the kind words. If I get the job your words will be such encouragement.