Dear Miss Kat's Parents,
Thank you for your comment on my recent post about car alarms. I realized when I read it that folks may not understand my point. So I will try and clear that up. I tend to have a certain style of writing that is not always a point by point presentation. I am writing this for my son and if I were to do that he would be asleep in seconds. I am leaving thoughts for him to ponder that are my own based on my own experience. I can not change what I felt back then and I am sorry if my opinions at that time frustrate you more. I realize that my blog is public so I wish to approach it with great care.
I don't know you or your daughter just as you don't know my family. Judging from your comment I am guessing (since I don't know you I am left to guess) that I represent a type of person you know. Perhaps a type that frustrates you and doesn't see you working so hard to what is best for her child. Perhaps this type of person just doesn't get how you did give your daughter a native language etc. I am sorry for this. I try to only post my opinions on things I experience first hand.
About the post I hope this helps,
Quote from your comment
"Please don't paint all parents with children who are learning spoken language with the same brush. Unless you have lived with their children, and know them, you can not judge."
I should have clearly stated my point.
*note to my son, this is the kind of writing I do that bores you, feel free to go make a sandwich and tune in later*
This woman had very little in the way of clear information. She was so desperate for her son to hear she took the slightest hint that he could respond to sound to make a serious decision.
The mother in this post does not resemble you at all. She had limited ASL skills, her son did not have a CI (that is is just a fact and not an opinion on CIs) and his only real access to language was at school. Since unlike your daughter I knew him well I did know he did not respond to any sound from what I could tell. His mother talked at him so I imagine if he had the critical thinking skills to wrestle with the complex idea of hearing he may have had an opinion. Since he had not fluent language or the age to develop critical thinking skills that would be a super hero task in my opinion. He did not try and express himself with speech. My own son however does respond to the vibration of a car alarm. This mother told me that the specific reason she was going oral was because he responded to a car alarm. I did later see him and I chose not to reflect on that but the post was after seeing the outcome.
About the other children in this post, again I don't see how I took a paint brush to your daughter. I know all of the children from the hours of volunteer work I did at the school. They often shared their stories with me. I often interpreted for them to their families at social events. Some did have a CI but their mom's did not resemble you so again I am confused. I read my post again and don't see where I mentioned a family who used ASL, had a bi/bi program (we had one for only 1 1/2 years) has a child with a CI who wants to go to an oral school. So I am sorry if you saw your family in this post.
What I do see is me, a mom who belongs to a very tiny minority of hearing parents who are frustrated. I see a mom who has seen what can happen when a child is given no language naturally.
What is a bit sad to me is that I have read your blog and I am sure if we met you would find I am not the person your think I am in fact we have a lot in common. In my opinion many parents of deaf children would be less frustrated if they reached out to each other. That is a can of worms though. This also makes me wonder how you decided to read my blog. I assumed my demographic to be few Deaf adults, bi/bi parents ( I guess that would be about 2% of parents of deaf children and maybe 2 would find me), and students. In short I never imagined anyone would take notice since I have been advocating for kids for years and folks just don't care to listen to me. So thanks for reading.
I hope this helps. Sorry to post this so publicly but maybe if I do others that may be lurking can get a clear idea of my perspective. Don't worry my friend nobody listens to me.
Mom just like you