tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40982936680882128102024-03-05T13:29:08.305-08:00We Never Landed In Hollandhaddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.comBlogger207125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-75914812329041026632014-12-11T20:39:00.000-08:002014-12-11T21:04:47.583-08:00For Patti12/31/13<br />
<br />
"There is a weird thing that happens when you fall outside.<br />
<br />
When you find out your child is deaf you mourn, you mourn hard if you know nothing. Then you find out it is ok you meet other people and over time you learn it is ok to joke. You laugh about how he leaves the water on with others who know. You are in the club. The club is comfort and power to be strong and enjoy life. You love your community.<br />
<br />
Maybe later your other child dies so fast you can't catch your breath but guess what…. there is a club for that where other people feel just like you do and over time you share and feel better and you find yourself laughing maybe with guilt at laughter but laughing again and moving on.<br />
<br />
Then maybe you find yourself again scared and confused because something is so wrong. Maybe it is so random or wrong you don't want to find a common thread. Body failure….rare disease????? You want to think the thread others find comfort with is a reason to run.<br />
This thread weaves the other threads together in a cruel tapestry that challenges your ability to breathe.<br />
<br />
I don't want to join your club."<br />
<br />
Patti I wrote this last year. Since then my son for some reason willed himself better. His disease is controlled right now. He beat the odds so much that he is cast as a principal in a play. I honestly believe it is because he has had to fight all of his life, his life was "Deaf normal". When the hospital told him he was a "Make A Wish" candidate he got grumpy (well pissed off) and said there are kids who are really sick. Haddy is a fighter.<br />
<br />
So now we are busy and living large but different. He has a cruel disease but as far as we are concerned it can kiss our asses. (sorry a bit harsh for a preschool teacher)<br />
<br />
Thank you for checking in. You are a kindred soul,<br />
Melhaddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-20534899511691741202013-10-20T19:17:00.001-07:002013-10-20T19:17:44.829-07:00How did we end up here?I always imagined my son would end up with a nice Deaf girl, go to college and make me proud. Simple.... hopeful<br />
<br />
Well I don't get to plan anyone's life!<br />
<br />
Yes, I am so proud.<br />
<br />
My son is kicking ass with his grades so college is going to happen. That is a big relief since he is the only Deaf kid at school. His school demands high academic performance.<br />
<br />
He has a group of friends....... the only Deaf kid has real friends at his mainstream school. I imagined his entire life at a Deaf school.<br />
<br />
I remember sitting with Larry Fliesher asking him if Haddy would be OK..... he said yes and told me his daughter was mainstreamed.<br />
Richard Kendall his first teacher said ....yes<br />
Harlane Lane told me ..... yes<br />
<br />
I was a helicopter mom.... now I just observe.<br />
<br />
Haddy wanted to see "Rocky Horror" and loved it so much he auditioned for the cabaret cast . He got a part....<br />
He has been working with hearing people in theatre for years...<br />
<br />
Time to let go......haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-79883643559691482462013-06-22T21:32:00.000-07:002013-06-22T21:32:11.360-07:00Remember The Day He Was Identified So tonight we are so busy. Everyone is just dealing with just normal stuff. I am, I have a busy young daughter and a teenage son. Funny how as they get older it gets easier but harder. No more diapers, car seats or political fights.<br />
<br />
I was talking with my Deaf son tonight about his schedule in the morning. We have a family party and his dad is coming. He however has plans. He has friends.<br />
<br />
I for no reason remember a few weeks after he was identified and I felt hopeless trying to sign with this really cute little baby.<br />
<br />
I was in the book store at the Beverly Center with Haddy. He was so cute and I was a chasing him signing. A man walked up and signed, " You Deaf?"<br />
<br />
"No, son deaf"<br />
What happened next changed our lives<br />
<br />
He told me my son would be OK... I didn't believe him.<br />
<br />
This man told me his thoughts and made me feel like I did something right. This man was a teacher of the deaf and deaf himself. He ended up being Haddy's first real teacher. His name was Richard Kendall but we used his sign name RK. I often wonder what would of happened if<br />
I didn't meet that man at that moment. What if I didn't have one person just show up and give me the signal.<br />
<br />
I am lazy now, that work we did just doesn't show up everyday. Life is easy now but still hard.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-39379373747143360392013-06-14T20:55:00.001-07:002013-06-14T22:32:46.262-07:00Acceptance Or Apathy?Here I sit in the same situation I have been pondering for fifteen years..... when do we walk away and accept it just isn't fair? When do we dig deeper and get the rusty soapbox out? When does mama come out of hiding?<br />
<br />
I'm used to being a fighting tiger jumping at every chance to champion my son's cause. That was important before he couldn't fathom the complexities of his life journey as a Deaf person in this country. The laws are complex and often ignored or misunderstood. My goal of course was to let go and let him take the lead when he was ready. That happened.<br />
<br />
My son is getting good grades (he told me he has an AP class next year ) and hanging with his tribe of like minds (all hearing but they sign). They want to go to "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and you may judge me for saying OK.<br />
<br />
I know the movie and the culture that surrounds it. I went as a teenager behind my parents back. I want him to go and experience this old movie with all the bells and whistles. I don't want him to miss the part where everyone yells "slut!" yep , I am most likely a bad mom. I just feel my Deaf son is capable. Capable of making good decisions and seeing this movie with interpreters will not in any way corrupt him. Hearing teenagers don't have to plan the date night. Mine does. No worries, I will pass on apathy and beg for accommodation.<br />
<br />haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-28424240639204470542013-04-15T22:48:00.003-07:002013-04-15T22:53:08.111-07:00YOUR DEAF SON IS FAILING ASL 1!!!! The text from my ex husband comes late after I already sent myself to bed. He is checking the kids grades online. I am really tired.<br />
<br />
" HE'S FAILING ASL!"<br />
<br />
OK, breathe, what? , "I will inquire about his grade with him in the morning."<br />
<br />
15 years ago<br />
<br />
We started signing with Haddy when he was a baby. We studied ASL as a language and not as a bridge to spoken language. We realized we couldn't achieve fluency fast enough to meet his needs so we surrounded ourselves with native signers.<br />
<br />
I advocated for ASL to be taught to Deaf children the same way English is taught in general education classrooms to hearing kids. Right.... we don't teach ASL grammar to Deaf kids.<br />
<br />
Today<br />
<br />
My daughter has been in Spanish immersion for five years and reads above grade level in English. Oh yea, she is fluent in Spanish and ASL. Turns out children can be naturally bilingual. (trilingual....)<br />
<br />
Now, here is the kicker....<br />
<br />
So does my son. He reads wells above grade level in English but is failing ASL.<br />
<br />
Why? He didn't finish a report on" Deaf". Yep, like any other class a kid would take he gave a half assed energy to a report that is about him. All of my son's life he has been exposed to Deaf. The teacher assigned a report and he took the diva out. So I am sure he will pull at least a C by grading time. ASL is his first language.<br />
<br />
Consider that in the time while others do their research he is "hearing" about himself. They are reporting on his people. These reports reflect back on him,<br />
<br />
He is 15, Deaf, mainstreamed and tonight no interpreters showed up for his play rehearsal. That sucks but he managed.<br />
<br />
I'm OK with him forgetting his report but he still needs to cleans his room and can someone text my EX please and tell him we are fine?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-26396540243478469902013-04-12T20:44:00.000-07:002013-04-12T20:44:00.994-07:00Yawn..... wake up and goI quit blogging because my Deaf son entered that stage of his life where I allow him to control it. He asked me to stop.<br />
<br />
Yesterday his control decided my blog was a good thing. He wants me to share what it feels like to be Deaf in his world. So with his help here we go,<br />
<br />
Update:<br />
<br />
My 15 year old deaf son is busy with his rehearsals for "Our Town". He attends a mainstream magnet art school and is considering a modern dance and film focus. He also started his education at a two state deaf schools.<br />
My 10 year old daughter is in a Spanish immersion program (fluent in three languages) and enjoys her violin.<br />
I am now a single parent.<br />
<br />
Let the story beginhaddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-80889448544042394682012-02-25T21:50:00.000-08:002012-02-25T21:50:18.722-08:00Just A Thought<br />
you: turn off all lights in rooms you are not in<br />
me: leave a light on in case someone needs to talk and make sure there is a light path<br />
you: hear your child scream "MOM!"<br />
me: feel the floor pound and see a flash<br />
you: yell back a response<br />
me: wait for child to come to me or..... get up from work and go into the lighted room<br />
you: continue to work<br />
me: stop and talk<br />
us: wondering why that issue interrupted our work<br />
<div>
<br /></div>haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-70623398820673068452011-09-04T07:57:00.000-07:002011-09-04T07:57:44.735-07:00Well of course it isn't easy...So my last post was about how nice it is to start the school year in a calm fashion. No issues to confront. The school in on board with my Deaf son. Life is good. Mainstream is really working out. My son loves it and is thrilled school starts next week.<br />
<br />
So as a formality I contact the person who manages my son's IEP services to find out what his interpreting services will look like. Last year the plan was a team of 2 highly qualified interpreters full time. I email asking about her vacation. Lamenting the brief time we all had to enjoy our summers. Then almost as an after thought I ask the question. What will his interpreting services look like? I push send and go about my busy day.<br />
<br />
A few minutes later I response pops into my inbox. There is a flag on the play my friends. Two new kids entered the district needing interpreters. Two interpreters quit. so now the district is short four..... yes.......FOUR interpreters. *oh sorry for shouting*<br />
<br />
So we don't know what next year will look like. There is nothing to fight for at the moment. The school district wants my son to have his services. They are interviewing prospects. I can't force folks to apply for the job. One person I was talking to said that maybe someone could volunteer...... yes dear the same way an airline pilot could volunteer to operate on your brain. Not her fault but it is always exhausting talking to people who know nothing about it. It would be worse if that person worked for the school district so I am patient.<br />
<br />
So while other parents are shopping for new jeans and #2 pencils I am leaving offerings to the interpreter fairies.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-18785454316996919882011-09-02T07:52:00.000-07:002011-09-02T07:52:45.061-07:00The School Bell RingsNext week my son will start his third year as a mainstream student. I can't recall ever starting a year with so much calm. Since the day he was identified there was always something to fight for. There was a service or interpreter issue. There was a teacher to educate or an administrator to address. Things that seemed clear to us were always riddled with red tape and bias. This year we simply picked up his schedule and payed his fees. I woke up this morning and the first thought that came to my mind was what would go wrong?<br />
<br />
He got the classes he wanted. We like the teachers he ended up with. What could go wrong? With years of practice under my belt I have learned anything can go wrong. So today I will contact the district to see if the interpreter team is scheduled and qualified. So far that is it. So far it is just a maintenance email to remind the school I am still watching and supportive of my son's education. As I sit here I realize the emails will slowly become his job. We have already shifted a lot of his advocating responsibility to him. Hopefully this year will not focus so much on his right to access but more on his theater and photography classes. This year will hopefully be about getting homework done and not about watching lectures and scrambling to take required notes at the same time. Hopefully this year every movie will be captioned. Hopefully this year we will be able to see what it is like to be typical.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-72343980609921567042011-05-27T21:57:00.000-07:002011-05-27T21:57:05.670-07:00Nothing Clever But Really CoolWednesday was amazing. My son is in an all hearing physical theater company. The cool thing is they don't use their voices but only their bodies. Wednesday they went to the deaf school to showcase their theater form. It was awesome! After the show the director and company answered questions and invited the deaf kids to join the company next year..... this was very well received... next year will be such a great year.<br />
<br />
Today my son and I took off for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland , Oregon to watch Howie Seago, professional Deaf actor, perform. Howie is a rare bird. The kindest role model ever and Haddy is over the moon excited. We will see and interpreted show and go on an interpreted backstage tour....<br />
<br />
Life is good for a Deaf kid.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-88003234354323726402011-05-19T23:17:00.000-07:002011-05-19T23:17:33.316-07:00I see What You Are SayingTonight I was volunteering at my son's school working the back of the house at a dinner show. Last year as the actors would pass me back stage I would notice some were signing with him. Some would come up to me and make attempts. Cool.<br />
<br />
One year later as I sit back stage I notice almost the entire cast and crew is signing conversations with me during the play. It seems it is the most natural thing to do!<br />
<br />
Awesomehaddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-37451381094834137442011-05-06T19:14:00.000-07:002011-05-06T19:14:25.659-07:00Hold On Mom.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"I "forgot" to clean my room and I need to pack my barrel for our adventure in two weeks. I am a teenager so I will selectively notice you when you are signing. For some reason at age thirteen I have all of the answers. " </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>Dear creatures that came from my body,</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>Yes, it is my duty to embarass you morning, noon and night. Parenting is a 24 hour job.</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>I will always love you but not so much the mess in your room.</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><br />
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</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>Warmest regards,</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>The woman who spent 18 hours in labour </b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><br />
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</div><span id="goog_1286705958"></span><span id="goog_1286705959"></span>haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-46039482486738171352011-05-05T17:57:00.000-07:002011-05-05T17:57:28.548-07:00Dear Mr. Shakespeare,<b>Dear Mr Shakespeare,</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>I am sure when the stories were forming in your head being ready to commit to paper the idea that your words would prove the world to be a glorious place for a Deaf kid was not even on your radar. Well if I had the chance I would inform you that your words by chance have shown me the journey we all take is meant to be and if for some reason it is off the beaten path there will be magic and a reason for gratitude. </b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Gratefully,</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Mom of deaf kid trying to get it right</b><br />
<br />
<br />
So I posted recently about my son wanting to go to a Shakespeare intensive theatre camp this summer. It was a short blip I tossed online in a moment where I felt helpless. The outcome was..... well..... I am sorry I don't have words.<br />
<br />
Haddy has four interpreters lined up to work with him at camp....... he gets to go and feel like a typical kid who happens to want to learn about "The Tempest". The folks who stepped forward to solve this challenge are ..... again ...... no words..... I really don't have the words...... <br />
<br />
The other outcome was a gift we would have never imagined. So he has written thank you notes and handed them off to me..... I have been sitting here trying to find the words for my side of the notes..... again..... I can't find them.<br />
<br />
Dear Mr. Shakespeare,<br />
Spare some words for me.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-78952113326279754072011-05-03T20:27:00.000-07:002011-05-03T20:27:22.226-07:00The Thing About LifeSo I had a crappy day. Yep, really crappy.<br />
<br />
Time for my hearing kiddo to go to sleep....<br />
<br />
"Mommy, but you need to read to me....."<br />
<br />
I do, I start..... I am lousy.....trying, my voice is like a snail on a rock.<br />
<br />
My deaf kid takes over.... they have a story that he has made up.... it is a sort of a chronicle about my daughter's life. They tell me it is called "Unibrow!" Uh, this is maybe OK?<br />
<br />
So I am sitting here, being grownup, with tons of stuff to figure out and my son is signing the next episode of "Unibrow"<br />
<br />
I am grateful for the laughterhaddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-88030013980601418752011-05-02T10:02:00.000-07:002011-05-02T10:02:49.932-07:00"So, Like, I Woke Up And Like"Sometimes my daughter and I venture down to the playground next to my son's school and wait for him to walk out. My daughter runs off full of energy to play and I sit and watch.<br />
<br />
This is the part I shouldn't share maybe,<br />
<br />
Friday I was sitting on the bench signing to my girl because talking is a strain at that distance. There were two kids, the same age as my son, on a tire swing in front of me. A girl and a boy. I think they thought I was deaf.<br />
<br />
So the girl was talking so loud I couldn't help but hear every mangled word she vomited into the atmosphere,<br />
<br />
"So, like, I like, got this call and like it was a guy wanting to like, sell me a car and like, I was like saying like I am only like, thirteen and like he just kept like, trying and I was so like, freaked out. I really like doughnuts and like, my mom took my dog to the vet and like ....."<br />
<br />
This goes non stop four about 4 minutes. She didn't even pause for a breath. Of course being of sound mind I was trying to remember how to do CPR if she happened to just pass out from the sheer energy it took to talk so loud and mangle every thought with "like".<br />
<br />
Then she pauses waiting for the boy to respond and he does,<br />
<br />
"My Xbox is broken"<br />
<br />
This prompts the girl to open her floodgate as she glances toward my kid's school,<br />
<br />
"OH MY GOD!!!!! like here comes, like, the art school kids, we should go down there and like yell at them, like in a accent, like, yell something funny like, "hey art school freaks!" Yea that would be funny and like, it would freak them out....." * fill in the blanks this went on for at least two minutes*<br />
<br />
They get up and walk away when the art kids got close as though this great plan was really just a way to show their frustration that they were not "art school freaks".<br />
<br />
<br />
So I sat there feeling like I had been verbally assaulted. The word "like" was swirling around my brain causing a wee bit of mental pain. Then I got to thinking as my son walked over. You see having a deaf kid has perks! I don't have to sit and have a conversation with him holding a Teenspeak dictionary. Of course he is a typical thirteen year old and he drives me nuts but....... I am not assaulted by his language.... he doesn't use his language to fill every space within reach. If he has a thought he frames it in a way to best express it. Sometimes I don't agree but at least I understand him.<br />
<br />
My next thought? Is my hearing daughter going adopt the teen code that will surely give me a headache?haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-7408878781020989002011-04-27T04:44:00.000-07:002011-04-27T04:58:36.907-07:00Remember The Time....My family has been sick for days..... the icky fever kinda sick..... the thing about a fever is it sends you to a place we call LALA land. This is a true story....<br />
<br />
When my son was about 18 months I was a partner in an art gallery. It was awesome!!! So one day while I was at work on a soul sucking TV show somewhere in the remote regions of LA my husband walked my son down to my gallery to write and handle the shop while I worked.<br />
<br />
My son starts to puke.... uh ... then he turns white........ my hubby calls 911.... he walked so no car for the transport to the doctor and Haddy was really sick.....<br />
<br />
I get a call that my family is stuck at the hospital on a Hollywood blvd... my son is naked and ..... they need a ride home. I am at some random location that I arrived at by following a map at 3am.<br />
<br />
My husband calls for a taxi. At this point we know Haddy is naked because of the puking and invasive hospital stuff.<br />
<br />
A taxi arrives.... my husband notices there is no car seat for naked Haddy.<br />
<br />
"Don't worry, use the armrest"<br />
<br />
A quick phone chain frees an executive from a show shooting close by who buys a car seat and transports my family home.<br />
<br />
<br />
OK, so at this point I should of decided to move.... nope... waited a couple of yearshaddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-24000667175666000732011-04-25T09:58:00.000-07:002011-04-25T09:58:43.440-07:00There are folks in life I wish I knew- Alan ChampionI don't have many words for this but he is a person I wish we had known. My words are lost because how does one express celebration for a stranger who feels like a friend?<br />
<br />
My son has sat through so many shows ..... trust me........ this man was a true talent....<br />
<br />
<br />
.<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/25/theater/alan-champion-sign-language-interpreter-for-theater-dies-at-55.html">http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/25/theater/alan-champion-sign-language-interpreter-for-theater-dies-at-55.html</a>haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-58954192191402207502011-04-21T20:51:00.000-07:002011-04-21T20:51:29.647-07:00That Really Humble MomentNot even really sure what to say.....<br />
<br />
I have learned over the last 13 years that even when I feel like a two year old kicking and screaming the community we stumbled into will show a side of humanity that stills cares for the children, the folks who need a voice, the mamas who just need a map and the friends we find along the way.<br />
<br />
From a very young age I have refused to ask for help. Somehow I think I have branded my eldest with this trait. Tonight my son and I had a really cool conversation.<br />
<br />
<br />
So first to quote my son, "Mom, really? Another hippie thought? .....Wait... what? What? I am going to have theater interpreters?? Larry? No? huh? Mom what did you do??? I am confused...Oh..<br />
<br />
*mama explains in detail*<br />
<br />
" mom I can't take that" <br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> Sometimes it is not help but community. </div><br />
thoughtful pause, thinking hippie mama and deaf son. <br />
<br />
Deaf son at a later time " oh, by the way, I think they are doing "A Midsummer's Night Dream" next year at school!!!!! " *turns out thirteen is the age of random multitasking thinking.......*<br />
<br />
and second that hippie quote he was referring to,<br />
<br />
Speechless and grateful for the gift of his community.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-5843468044522046232011-04-21T13:35:00.000-07:002011-04-21T13:35:56.472-07:00I remember..... I will never get mad... I will make the world change for me....So about a million years ago,<br />
I was born.<br />
Nothing special, a white kid with a super pretty home.<br />
Or maybe I just imagined it was,<br />
Ever go back and see how small?<br />
Later.......I found out my dad was super cool... he was an artist.<br />
Me too?<br />
Later I found out that was wrong because we need to manage our finances..<br />
<br />
<br />
My kid...... ?<br />
OK-<br />
Get your act together ! ........<br />
<br />
No<br />
Your act<br />
Is fine<br />
<br />
Mom will manage,<br />
I will still embarrass you with my corny jokes,<br />
My talking with your friends,<br />
But you will manage on your own,<br />
Laughing with me,<br />
We have that.<br />
<br />
<br />
By the time you read this<br />
It will be so easy<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Mom<br />
<br />
<br />
A letter to my son before I get sick like my momhaddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-49278537257534471602011-04-18T19:30:00.000-07:002011-04-18T19:30:41.728-07:00Local Folks Check This Out!<a href="http://www.wsd.wa.gov/documents/See%20What%20I%20Am%20SayingCan.pdf">See What I'm Saying</a><br />
<br />
This is where my family will be Wednesday night! Hmm... great timing.......haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-3733295089732263262011-04-17T16:35:00.000-07:002011-04-17T16:35:29.940-07:00Changed My MindSometimes I want to kick and scream like a two year old.<br />
<br />
Yep, at 44 years old I really do....haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-13872984720851782282011-04-16T18:56:00.000-07:002011-04-16T18:56:52.164-07:00Uh... Yea the Deaf kid...<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix" style="color: #333333; display: block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px; word-wrap: break-word; zoom: 1;"><div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">OK, so Haddy wants to apply for Summer Intensive Theater Camp at VSAA. Great! Only one problem, </div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">This camp is for VSAA students who are focused in theater. Yep, Haddy is.... but he is deaf. The teachers are providing this privately. That means ADA doesn't apply. That means that in order for him to participate if he is accepted he needs theater interpreters. He needs volunteers, qualified with a background in theater, folks who can handle Shakespeare. </div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Our family can't afford to hire them, ASL students can't do this. </div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">So what does a mama do? Sorry kiddo you are too Deaf to join? I can come and try but I need a team or a partner for theater. I am feeling a bit sad. like maybe I am not doing this right. How do I tell my kid I can't figure this out?</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Funny the picture for the flyer is of my Deaf kid. He is the commercial for camp and I know the teacher wants him there maybe. I don't know, I really don't. </div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Blech! Sometimes I feel helpless....</div></div></div>haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-80447999514538443622011-04-15T09:45:00.000-07:002011-04-15T09:45:10.487-07:00HuhSo my son tells me the ASL students at school have started telling him he is making mistakes with his signing. They are learning some different signs then he uses. Now what is interesting to me is when I was first learning I was told that you go with what the deaf person uses. I am also often told by Deaf people his signing is beautiful. They are often shocked by his fluency. Granted he wants to take ASL at the college level to polish his native language but it seems odd beginning students would feel the need to "correct" him.<br />
<br />
I have a feeling the hearing ASL teacher is either using a different dialect than my son's or dated text book signs. I am also curious if the text book they use was published on the West coast.<br />
<br />
Mty son is a native signer. He has a blended southern California/ Northwest dialect. For example the slang he uses is from years at the state deaf school and the deaf school in Los Angeles. Often the older kids come up with the slang so it can be regional. They ASL students are not taught slang.<br />
<br />
My son also will sign some things the way he learned from the deaf community in LA because he likes it better. Signs like strawberry and cheat. This doesn't mean he is wrong.<br />
<br />
This is not a big deal but I am just curious how much deaf culture the students are learning along with the language.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-53630361261812444072011-04-14T21:06:00.000-07:002011-04-14T21:27:41.331-07:00Where do I Start? Scream Therapy?It has been awhile since I have posted. Life does that to people. It sweeps them away on different tangents sometimes floating far from where we start. Leaving us to swim back and get anchored. I have a few thoughts, not all very interesting, and I guess I will just vomit them out. Deaf stuff, mama stuff and if I have the energy a recipe (well maybe not a cooking class tonight)<br />
<br />
<b>Scream Therapy</b><br />
<br />
I found myself a wee bit stressed out with my mom suffering from dementia, long story. I found myself suffering from panic attacks. Of course the first time this happened I assumed it was a heart attack and privately said my farewells. Well poo, just garden variety panic attacks.<br />
<br />
Turns out thrill rides are a great cure for folks like me who don't want to partake in the medication route. I decided on a Tuesday to fly out on the Thursday of the same week for Disneyland. Yep, two days to pull it together. You see the only choice I felt I had was to get far away and do something that required not a single brain cell and omitted any driving from the schedule. <br />
<br />
IT WORKED!<br />
<br />
Space Mountain is my new Xanax. As much as I feel like screaming up and down my street at home I am sure it would be met with visits from the police or at least gentle first responders with straight jackets. On a thrill ride it is expected you will scream your ass off. Your body must release something because after the ride I felt like a new woman!<br />
<br />
<b>That Asshole Kid At The Pool</b><br />
<br />
OK so this is a hot topic. The BULLY. Haddy was only approached by a kid like this once when he was four. So at the Disneyland hotel we were at the pool feeling relaxed and groovy. Two older girls did the typical notice the deaf kid thing and tried to practice the few signs they knew behind a rock. That is cool and cute.<br />
<br />
Next I see a kid around ten years old mocking Haddy. She is whispering into her friend's ear making fake signs that are pretending he is "delayed". Yea, they used the "r" word. They thought I was deaf so it was easy to stand next to them and listen. They kept at it then enlisted the help of a boy to tease Haddy.<br />
<br />
I could of let him handle it. He is really clever and can disarm an idiot with his hands tied but just this once, fully relaxed from scream therapy, I let it fly.<br />
<br />
I leaned down to eye level and said,<br />
<br />
"You know if you keep staring really hard, he will turn GREEN * whisper * Yep, it is a deaf thing"<br />
<br />
The adults who were sitting close by watching the little bully kids laughed.... thumbs up they show me..... the bully kids were embarrassed that everyone was laughing at them. Not so cool to plan a sneak attack on a kid when every adult around you is laughing at you.<br />
<br />
Haddy was mad I stepped in. He doesn't get bullied an I suspect he wanted to do the honors.<br />
<br />
He forgave me since he can't help coming from my body and I am a pretty OK mom.<br />
<br />
I gathered my kids to go search for a ride we had yet to discover and scream with my favorite people.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098293668088212810.post-77791763952396258262011-03-18T10:22:00.000-07:002011-03-18T12:37:03.746-07:00In Defense Of The Arts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLDjs_DU-TNt2_RzcuU96kHl8HD1BFNPlCQA9eZp1SuZ-nfzOcwenc3aKh9_nIxKwF0GMwKiljcTdXv2vGOTrt-mDSXzTZcw2c8Unt5sh0tZOvZMbopS19rDL9FhfPevX4l-KCs76Fe3o/s1600/Haddy+Comedia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLDjs_DU-TNt2_RzcuU96kHl8HD1BFNPlCQA9eZp1SuZ-nfzOcwenc3aKh9_nIxKwF0GMwKiljcTdXv2vGOTrt-mDSXzTZcw2c8Unt5sh0tZOvZMbopS19rDL9FhfPevX4l-KCs76Fe3o/s320/Haddy+Comedia.jpg" width="237" /></a></div>I love this picture. It was taken while my son was goofing off before curtain a little over a year ago. I love how comfortable he is in his skin.<br />
<br />
He was the only deaf kid in the play which had a lot of improv. He was a principal and the only middle school kid cast as such. This experience was natural for him, like a second skin. He was completely joyful. For him it is about the work or the moment. He becomes a character. Once he is finished he becomes a bit shy of the attention he receives, his hands go into his pockets, head slightly down and he issues a nod a thank you to praise. He is modest about his work. This picture shows his passion for just being himself with freedom. He doesn't need the praise.<br />
<br />
The reason I bring this up is every time my son learns from theater he gains more self confidence. He learns the trick of managing the nerves of public speaking or assertive self advocating. By studying character he learns how others think and uses that information to develop empathy and strategies to negotiate this world which could potentially judge him at every turn. He can memorize his lines after two readings of a script.... hmm ..... literacy....<br />
<br />
I guess my point is every deaf kid (or hearing in my opinion) benefits from the arts on many levels. I notice in our area we focus on raising test scores and art is left behind sometimes in general education. Art is a valuable resource. I have never met a deaf kid who didn't benefit from it.haddy2dogshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04034188486446894352noreply@blogger.com0